


Triple Dog Dare You

by genericfanatic



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, and a tumblr post, based on a christmas story, crack fic kinda?, its pretty much exactly what you think it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 06:11:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8737834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genericfanatic/pseuds/genericfanatic
Summary: Keith and Lance are bored on an ice planet. Shenanigans ensue.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a Christmas Story and this tumblr post: http://dork-empress.tumblr.com/post/153990420689/narwhalsarefalling-i-just-had-the-stupidest

“I’m telling you, I asked my Tio Rodriguez when I was a kid, and HE says it’ll stick right to the pole just like I told you.”

Keith and Lance were bored, as they stood on Hoth. Turns out it was a real place. Who knew? Presumable George Lucas, Lance supposed. Anyway, a blizzard had picked up when they arrived, too powerful for their lions to get through, and so they had to depend on the local’s means of transportation to get to their base. And boy, Ton-Ton’s really DID smell.

Of course, the blizzard was GONE now. Lance wasn’t sure why he and Keith had to come on this mission at all. Pidge and Hunk were needed to fix some shield generator or weather machine or something the local’s needed to survive that the Galra had destroyed, and Shiro was there to negotiate as head of Voltron, but Lance and Keith had nothing to do but argue out in the cold.

“Oh please,” Keith said, “It’s a myth! What would he know about it?” 

“Okay first off,” Lance said, “We’re going to ignore the fact that you LITERALLY chased down aliens and yet you think a scientific fact is a myth. Second, my Tio knows because he once saw a guy stick his tongue to a railroad track on a bet, and the fire department had to come to get the guy’s tongue of the track, cause he COULDN’T get it off.”

“You’re full of Quiznak, and so’s you’re Tio.”

“Oh yeah?” 

“Yeah!”

“Well I double dare you to TRY, then.” Lance said, smirking smugly.

Keith gaped at him. “Are you kidding? Stick my tongue to metal that’s ridiculous. There’s not even any metal around here, the locals only use like, animal hide and that weird composite stuff”

Lance looked over, Pidge and Hunk were hunched over the composite-made engines with a few of the local’s engineers, trying to figure things out, while Shiro stood behind them, supervising. “There’s Shiro’s arm.”

Keith blinked, “What? No way am I licking Shiro’s arm.”

“That’s ‘cause you know it’ll stick.”

“You’re full of it!”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah!”

“Well I double DOG dare you!” 

Keith flinched, “You…you don’t think I’d really do that cause you dared me, do you? We’re not kids.” His words were firm, but Lance could see the fire in his eyes of competition. He had him. It would just take one more…

“I TRIPLE dog dare you!” 

Keith sighed, “Alright, alright,” and he marched over to where Shiro stood. “This is ridiculous.” 

“Well go on already!”

“I’m going, I’m going!”

Keith made it to Shiro, sneaking up from behind to hopefully avoid complete humiliation, and stuck his tongue out to Shiro’s elbow. As soon as the tip touched metal, Lance gasped. Keith seemed to freeze up for a moment, long enough for Shiro to look down, “Keith?” He asked, “What are you doing?”

“I—“ Keith managed to get out, speaking around his tongue that stubbornly refused to retract back into his mouth, “I—I thtuck! Thtuck!”

“Geez,” Lance said, in awe, “It really worked,” Pidge, Hunk, and the engineers all looked over at the commotion. Shiro, trying to get a better look at the situation, raised his arm above his head, and Keith whined in pain as his tongue was dragged along with it.

“OWWW!” Keith cried out, “thtop! Thtop! I’m thtuck! I’m thtuck!”

“Keith, what the hell did you think you were doing?” Shiro asked in small parts amazement, and large parts disappointment.

Lance had tried to back away slowly from the ruckus, but at that moment, Keith pointed aggressively at him, saying, “Ith hith fault!”

Shiro glared over at Lance, who chuckled nervously, and then ran for the enclosed structure before Shiro and his attached Keith could catch him. 

After Keith was eventually separated, neither he nor Lance were allowed back outside until the mission was over.

**Author's Note:**

> Guys I don't even know. I'm working on my other fics I swear but this just kinda got vomited out first.


End file.
